This entry is for me, and my life goals. I'm just spit-balling here, on October 11, 2024.
I know I want to be rich and famous. It sounds so stupid, and not all of my reasons are great. I'm a communist and environmentalist, which is certainly at odds with the dream lifestyle. And certainly a big reason I want to do it is the capitalist propaganda I've been exposed to.
I can justify exploitation if it's the exploitation of machines. That's something I stand by: the only way to ethically and sustainably maintain our W.E.I.R.D. standard of living is to swap the exploitation of humans with the exploitation of machines. This is necessary for the communist world I want to live in. But (perhaps surprisingly) I don't really see how I can contribute to this directly. I don't think there are theoretical limitations I can fix, and I certainly don't think I can start robotics companies that replace human labor at the necessary scale.
Why do I want to be rich and famous? I've tasted bits and pieces of it here and there, and it's addicting, for one. For another, I've got childhood baggage driving me in this direction: a deeply irrational need to prove myself to everyone else. The reason most present in my mind, though, is that existence is a hecking miracle, and I don't expect more chances. I've only got my one life, and I desperately want to fill it with these dreamy experiences while I still can.
So where does that leave me? Well, like any cishet white guy, I'm starting to think I have interesting things to say about the world and existence. Yes, I'm only 21 as I write this, why do you ask? Jokes aside, I do want to expand my platform and amplify my voice. Robotic exploitation, as I mentioned before. Communing where we can. Fostering genuine human connection. Opening our social circles to victims of the system. Help without repayment. Taking back our mental health, our ethical existence, our basic human empathy. Taking it all back from the system that enslaves us every day, pits us against each other, and systematically murders people of color across the globe on an unfathomable scale.
Why should anyone listen to me? I have no qualifications. I still want a PhD in logic, but I'm not willing to wait that long before acting. Multiple existential disasters are converging upon us right now, and we just genocide. My best answer to this why-listen-to-me question at the moment is to try and look pretty, speak as convincingly as possible, aim for the carnival teddy bears, and say things that really resonate with people in a way they haven't experienced before.
One thing I wonder is about media. Do I write a book? Make videos? Music? A podcast? I'm not really sure. At the moment I half-heartedly write on Mastodon and on this website, and push my points on with friends and family. (Yep, I'm that guy.) It's imaginable to me that I could write a Jordan Peterson-style book (I hate that guy) that could resonate with people. I occasionally imagine making music or writing a film script, but these things are very hard for me. Writing articles (perhaps for actual news outlets?) is much more my style, but it's also much more challenging to reach the heights I'm aiming for that way. And my blog especially ain't it. I occasionally try to convince myself I could make it as a model, but far more often I'm convinced that I cannot. I don't think I could be an actor or comedian. I'll be thinking more about this.
As a software developer, my pay is quite good. This will be even more true when I finish my bachelors degree. I've tasted well-paying remote work and I'm addicted. I want to travel the world, meet many people, learn foreign languages. Live an exciting 20s and 30s. For now I'll just work full-time in-person, to save up and prepare for that lifestyle, and finish my degree. Money helps with growing my platform, and with making music if I choose to go that route. I imagine I'd spend quite a bit of money for people to teach me foreign languages, dance, and musical instruments. If I had that kind of money.
In the long run I could see myself attempting the rich-startup-CEO route to celebrity status, and taking that success as a political platform (cough Elon cough). But getting there through industry instead of art potentially implicates me in a lot of unethical stuff. There aren't good billionaires, can I really expect to be the first? There aren't good billionaires by the definition of modern capitalism. I can imagine getting extremely clever about products and company structure that remain ethical, but it's hard. That isn't how the industry works, and achieving extreme financial success that way is hard to imagine.
If I did write a book (gosh, the audacity! The ego!) then here are some points that would be good to cover, just so I don't forget: 1. Cooperation, 2. Discipline, 3. Luck (yes, there's actually a lot I could write about this), 4. Media literacy.
Trying to win against life feels like trying to push a brick wall to move a house. There are people who are moving it: all the people you hear about in the news every day. Some of these people are moving it just by pushing harder than I can. Many of these people got very lucky in a variety of ways, though perhaps believe that they used their skill. But most people found tricks, special spots to grip the house, special terrain adjustments, pulley systems, etc. that make it much easier. I'll need a whole lot of luck and a whole lot of persistence, but I also certainly need to find tricks of my own.
© 2024 Ryan Brewer.